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    "Don't let your kids watch it!" - Robbie Rotten

    This article contains potentially sensitive content that may be discomforting or upsetting to certain users. Reader discretion is advised!

    Reason: Countless adult-related subjects/imagery/etc put into a kids' game such as penis jokes, uncensored cleavage, etc. His CGI animations can also horrify some viewers.

    Wild Woody
    Gender: Male
    Type: Deranged Superhero
    Species: Anthropomorphic Pencil
    Portrayed by: Joseph Kerska
    Status: Alive
    Media of origin: Wild Woody

    Wild Woody is the main titular character of the 1995 Sega CD game Wild Woody. He is a pencil who is brought to life by Low Man of the Totem Pole to round up his Totem brothers who had escaped his control and created parallel universes to gather the scattered segments of the totem pole. He tends to think highly of himself and likes to crack jokes.

    He is voiced by Joseph Kerska.

    Not-So Wild Qualities

    1. To write down the first problem about him, the fact that he is a walking talking pencil with limbs who is meant to be a titular "superhero" created by a totem pole head, is a lazily and horrendously crafted idea for a cartoony video game character mascot coming from SEGA.
      • It doesn't help that they already have made their mascot Sonic the Hedgehog, who was already legendary in the 90s, so Woody's existence as a mascot of theirs is rather pointless in 1995.
      • Why Woody couldn't be an eraser head or anything but a pencil is beyond us, to quote Blameitonjorge: "It was probably the only thing lying around".
    2. He was intended to come across as very comical and zany, but just comes across as creepy and scary because his deranged-looking movements in the CGI cutscenes that have him behave way too over-the-top, energetic, unhinged and spastic, which makes Woody comes across as a mentally unstable person with a psychopathic look on his face who gets too many cheesy close-up shots and camera mugging shots that makes several viewers feel like Woody was going to eat them due to the close up of his mouth when he announces his name so dramatically. This goes far to the point it reaches nightmare fuel levels in Woody looking demented in terms of behavior.
      • It doesn't help that he is seen as very uncanny and disturbing in the CGI cutscenes. Even though this is early 90's CGI, it's no excuse that Woody himself still looks poorly animated. Especially when there were characters from Toy Story, VeggieTales and ReBoot that existed in the same period Wild Woody existed in and were better animated than he is despite how CGI was like in the 90s.
    3. He's also a complete knock-off of Earthworm Jim.
      • He has the goofy personality of Earthworm Jim, down to having a similar saying to match the silliness of their character (where Earthworm Jim uses the word "Groovy" as his catchphrase, Wild Woody uses the word "WIILLLD" and "Woody!" in a similarly hammy way), both of them are portrayed as silly protagonists in and out of the cutscenes, they both have a hammy inflection and subtle mannerisms in their manly voices and having a similar art style with their pointy heads with big round eyes and a big mouth as a part of their character designs, along with having cartoonishly enthusiastic expressions to match the wackiness in their behaviors).
    4. In the cutscenes, there are times when Woody himself is implausibly annoying with his arrogant attitude and loud shouting. Even when the "WIIILLLD Woody" line gets shouted out oftentimes, which starts to get old in a while. While it may be funny the first few times, every other time it is reused, it becomes more irritating than funny.
    5. He also comes out short in character development. He's the combination of the stationary of the Pencil cases from the intro of Art Attack(1990) and the personality traits of the Pepperami mascot in a nutshell. This makes him clichéd somehow. He's the generic "I'm gonna save the world" type of protagonist who retrieves Totem Pole heads, with nothing else unique about him aside from being an egomaniac who's hammy, hyperactive, boisterous & "wild", hence the explanation.
      • Especially since Wild Woody is the type of character with such a loud comedic personality, it's meant to have the same feel of the Jim Carrey appeal from characters like The Mask from The Mask for example, but just comes across as obnoxious instead.
      • Despite saying that his very name is the only thing he knows, he somehow can spout out one-liners based on pop culture as an example of poor writing. This is, surprisingly, a deep moment when Woody introduces himself where he notes, to his confusion "Golly... I know my name, but it seems that's all I know.". But unfortunately, instead of using this to build on his character, he goes straight back to having that smug and cocky "all-attitude" trait immediately afterward.
    6. Every time Woody gets hurt in the game, he never shuts up as he only says "OW!", which can be heard when you start the game, which starts to get annoying in a while.
    7. His sketches, while they seem imaginative and useful, they are either hard to navigate or last a second.
    8. This may have been innovative and amazing at the time, but the voice acting by Joe Kerska for Woody isn't really bad at all, it just comes across as strange and mediocre nowadays.
    9. His dialogue is hilariously bad. It more often than not feels very out of place for a game that is supposed to be a kids' game, for example: "All I did was bust a gut".
    10. Following from the previous pointer, he has shown to be inappropriate and suggestive in a way. Not only can he show a perverted side to him, but his very name is a penis innuendo despite being in a game made for all ages.
      • Even his actions do this as well, such as his 2D animation when getting a power-up that gives him health and growing back to normal which looks like "erecting" movements. While Woody himself can erase things, not only is it inappropriate by the way he does it since it's essentially his butt considering that he is a sentient pencil, but it's also hard for the player to erase enemies which leads to cheap side effects.
      • One of his sketches he brought to life from his sketchbook, it's shown as a convoluted easter egg to hack the game in the second act of the world Pirate World, there was a smirking topless mermaid with boobies that are explicitly hanging from her chest with no pixelation, no bra or anything to cover it, we kid you not. This became the most infamous thing about the game Woody starred in, mainly because of this fact being showcased in SEGA's Tips and Tricks 100th Issue magazine as of 2003 (8 years later after the game was released).
      • On the last cutscene of the game, he also wished for a pink female paintbrush, with topless and uncensored boobies on it, as his special wish upon placing the last Totem Head on the totem pole.
    11. On top of that, despite being sassy and a jokester, he had moments of being a bit of a jerk with once too many laughable moments to count. Such moments include:
      • He told Brimstone (one of the totem heads) that he better had insurance for the loss of Brimstone's destroyed empire that Brimstone had mourned the loss of, caused by Woody in his eyes.
      • Getting pretty violent and aggressive towards Orbit (the space cadet totem pole head with a rocket blasting on its back) by slamming the head onto the floor repeatedly to stop the rocket blasting, which Woody did in an energized way like a brutal maniac who went mental, right before throwing him back on the totem pole.
      • Acting impatient when he irritably asks Low Man if he is done with the quest yet after retrieving Orbit.
      • His self-aware moment where he blew raspberry at Low Man for the idea of Woody saving the world again unless the game he starred in sold a zillion units, which means Woody seems pragmatic and greedy in terms of only saving the lives of others if it meant having his game turn out successfully (which it didn't, mind you).
      • When you get a game over, after getting a CGI cutscene of Woody and Low Man flying in space upon the platform exploding when you lose all your lives, you see Woody looking angry at you and there is censored text like an automatic speech bubble of miniature Woody going !@#&𖦹, which means he's swearing.

    Wild Qualities

    1. His very introduction: "Call me Woody, WIIILLLD WOODY!", along with his cheesy yet extremely enthusiastic performances and animations in the CGI-animated cutscenes, can be considered to be quite hilarious and entertaining to watch to most viewers (like the game-over screens).
      • He can be pretty funny to watch in the cutscenes, especially for the fact he's a lot wilder than how he is in the game itself and is incredibly goofy, exuberant, and hammy enough to steal the show with his enthusaism. This quality makes him one of the most enjoyable parts of the game (well for the most part, however).
      • Following from this; there are times when his dialogue is so bad that it's unintentionally funny, which makes Woody very memorable. (EX: "My! Oh my!!, "Hope you got insurance Brimmy!", "No need to get personal." or "Alright! My creative juices are FLOWIN’ now!" as seen in four instances of those cutscenes.)
    2. To be fair, the idea of having a pencil as the main character being able to draw up items and erase enemies sounds interesting and creative, despite it all being poorly executed.
    3. When Wild Woody first comes to life, he's shown to draw some pretty impressive pictures in the first cutscene, in a fast-paced far-fetched, and exaggerated way no-less.
    4. At least Wild Woody's design looks nice to look at in 2D animation form.
    5. He can be considered tolerable to listen to when he speaks in a normal regular tone of voice rather than yelling in those aforementioned cutscenes.
    6. Wild Woody has single-handedly saved his entire universe from destruction and restored peace and balance to his entire world by exploring 5 diverse challenging worlds like a pirate world, a mythology world, a mechanical world, a science-fiction world, and a spooky cemetery world with mazes for him to solve to retrieve back 5 totem pole heads for Lowman as his mission to save the world and the universe (which are hard and tricky levels to navigate), as well as being capable of outsmarting all of the villains into defeat by using his eraser rub to rub them when they're open to attack, this makes him out to be an extremely admirable character in-universe.


    • Many of the parodies of Wild Woody himself, are portrayed in a much more positive light. From Machima portraying him as a crazed, destructive & hyperactive goofball who means well in the Taco Man series, to the reviewer SEGAbits portraying him as a silly jokester with a bit of an attitude to highlight what's so charming about him in the game.
    • Wild Woody is known to be Joseph Kerska's biggest role he had in SEGA for the time, where he was an intern who worked as a voice-over actor for the company and now remains as a social media influencer. It's gone to the point where Joseph Kerska's Twitter account has Wild Woody on his profile, with a username titled @wildwoody4real, an email address named wildwoody95@gmail.com and a humorous description of his Twitter profile with him identifying himself as a "pencil" and being "not at all the sharpest".
    • Wild Woody in the FMV cutscenes also had motion capture, which was done by the man named Donald Hom as the man suited for the role.



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