The Heffley Family (Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul (Movie))

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The Heffley Family (Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul (Movie))
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#NotMyHeffleys
Gender: Male
Female
Type: Flanderized Family
Species: Human
Status: Alive
Media of Origin: Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul


The Heffleys are the main protagonists of the 2017 poorly received film, Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul. They are the family of the main protagonist, Greg. In The Long Haul movie adaptation, they were sadly flanderized.

Why They Sucked

Overall

  1. Their main criticism was the new cast. They didn't really try too hard to look at the original characters from the previous films. They don't necessarily fit or match the roles of the original characters from the previous films at all.
  2. They're really unlikable for some pointless reason.
  3. They lack the charm and charisma the original cast had.
  4. They looked like they've been picked up from the streets and thrown together onto a screen.
  5. The characters are heavily flanderized and they often behave in a nonsensical, annoying, frustrating, and stupid manner.
  6. Instead of calling the cops about the Beardos, the Heffleys decide to chase them down and break into their hotel just to get their stuff back.
  7. There is one stupid scene where Frank drives through mud and the rest of the family stand there getting mud instead of moving away like wax statues.
  8. They think that it is somehow fine to push their car at a very quick speed down the incredibly steep hill in front of Meemaw's house and get into the car as they do it. However, in real life, the family (except Greg, who was in the boat) would likely die due to the steepness of the hill and the car's speed, which should cause them to crash into the house..
  9. They have no real personality with Greg being the cliche main character.
  10. Their chemistry with each other comes off as lousy and mean-spirited, compared to the first three films where the family felt like a genuine family because the film makers didn't bother to test the chemistry between them, unlike the previous cast.
  11. They permanently killed the Diary of a Wimpy Kid movie franchise, at least the live action adaptations.

Greg Heffley

  1. He looks way too young to be a convincing twelve-year-old. Instead, he looks more like a second-grader, or even a 8 year old kid.
  2. Manny wins a pig, and somehow it is all Greg's fault, even though he was trying to prevent it from happening.
  3. He did not tell his family about the Beardos, who are literally trying to kill him, yet he tries to hide this from his family. (Though this could be because he thinks he would be blamed for it, which is likely.)
  4. He somehow thinks that Indianapolis is near Meemaw's house on a map that's scaled, and he should know that maps aren't like that, implying that he doesn't understand how maps work.
  5. He teaches a false and bad moral, which is "we need things like video games and smartphones to survive" in the beginning.
  6. He became more idiotic than he was in the first three films.
  7. Diaper Hands. That's all we have to say.

Susan Heffley

  1. She acts or looks nothing like her book or film counterpart, who was overall caring. In the previous films, Rachael Harris had brown hair and put in a good performance that matched the character's personality incredibly well and made her look like a convincing parent. Here, Alicia Silverstone has blonde hair and puts in a more threatening and aggressive performance that doesn't match up to the character at all and it makes her look more like a bitchy mean girl and somehow a criminal instead of a parent.
  2. She also has a massive ego in the movie and is a very selfish and immature parent, who yells constantly and bashes modern technology, belittles what her family likes and don't like while caring more about what she likes, and she did not care in the slightest that she humiliated Greg at the expo, and was more concerned about running the trip the way she wanted it, even worse, she gets off scot-free with humiliating Greg at the expo. Even her apology seen nearly at the end of the movie would not excuse her for the things she did in the film, that were really wrong.
  3. She is a huge mary sue.
  4. She is a hypocrite, for example, in the third film, she said to Frank “you can’t take away what they love”, when that's all she does throughout this film..
  5. There is one scene where Greg almost gets run over by a car, and She is more concerned about Manny taking a nap than Greg almost getting hurt and tells him to be careful because he almost woke up Manny. Instead of being grateful that her son wasn't killed, Susan takes this for granted and is worried about something far less important. This just shows how horrible and neglectful Susan can be.
  6. Instead of trying to get their stuff back from the Beardos who stole it in the first place, She was more concerned about getting cleaned than getting their stuff back, which was the whole point of the attempt to break into the motel room in the first place.
  7. She is the stereotypical "picky, protective and mean girl" parent.

Frank Heffley

  1. He is an incredibly boring character, compared to Steve Zahn, who was way funnier and interesting.
  2. Also compared to Steve Zahn, Tom Everett Scott gives a bland performance in contrast to Zahn's eccentric and crazy performance.
  3. He became more idiotic than he was in the first three films.

Rodrick Heffley

  1. His appearance doesn't necessarily match the books or previous films with long hair, as his new actor lacks the proper look that Devon Bostick had, Making him more like a cross of Dojo, Lil Tay and Edna Mode.
  2. There was no reason they had to recast Devon Bostick in the role. Not only is he a better fit for the character, but even in 2017, he looked around the same age as Rodrick.
  3. Unlike the previous films, his personally felt fake and less than dimensional and is basically Rodrick but without the charm.

Manny Heffley

  1. Like his book counterpart, he still serves as an annoying brat.

Redeeming Qualities

  1. They did have a reason to replace Greg because Zachary Gordon has outgrown playing the character.
  2. Most of them realize their mistakes at the end and apologize to each other, even though some of the things they did aren't excusable.

Trivia

  1. The hashtag #NotMyRodrick, used to protest Rodrick's recasting, became a meme because Charlie Wright looks nothing like Devon Bostick.
  2. Jason Drucker, who played Greg Heffley, would later play Otis Watson in Bumblebee.

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