Lana Kane (Archer)
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"If you really cared, you'd resign. But there's no way you ever will, because you're just counting the days until, her face bloated and yellow from liver failure, [our boss] calls you to her deathbed and, in a croaky whisper, explains that Mr. Archer is totally incompetent and that you, the long-suffering Lana Kane, are the only one qualified to run ISIS and you weep shameful tears because you know this terrible place is the only true love you will ever know."— Cheryl Tunt, "Once Bitten"
Lana Kane is the deuteragonist of the FX animated series Archer. She is voiced by Aisha Tyler.
- She is an excessively domineering, overbearing and vindictive character who likes to act morally superior over her peers.
- She never really gets punished or called out for her actions in comparison to the rest of her peers.
- She constantly mistreats Archer. While the comments and actions he makes can be really annoying and terrible, she goes WAY too far with her responses. She has shot and choked him multiple times, nearly gotten him killed by crashing their car while he wasn't wearing a seatbelt, and even inflicted some permanent hearing damage to his ears. There was one time where she was literally about to KILL Archer while she was pregnant, and the only reason she didn't was because her gun didn't have any bullets.
- As Malory points out, Lana never gives Archer enough credit. While he can undoubtedly be an arrogant, narcissistic manchild, he still gets the job done.
- She uses Cyril as a rebound guy for Archer, interested in him just because he sees Cyril as stable. She implanted a tracking device in him so she'd always know where he was, and also cheated with him by having a three-way during her mission with Skorpio.
- She clearly shows that she never took the relationship with Cyril at all. When Cyril mentions how he had long talks with her about his past, she doesn't remember it at all. She also has no idea when his birthday is either.
- She's extremely insecure about her looks, to the point that she'll literally assault anyone who questions it.
- She's a total hypocrite: despite being an environmental advocate, when she and Archer were attacked by an alligator in Florida, she didn't hesitate to tell Archer to shoot it, to which Archer himself calls her out as a hypocrite.
- She literally tells Archer that she would rather LOSE her baby than marry him.
- She impregnates herself with Archer's sperm without telling him, and when he learns he's the father of their newborn child, she gets pissed at him for leaving town for six weeks and not taking up the responsibility of being a parent that was forced onto him.
- She hires an actor to pretend to be a terrorist when Archer is responsible for babysitting AJ for the weekend to make sure she can trust him. He ends up getting shot twice and their daughter is put in mortal danger, and when Archer calls him out for that, she's completely dismissive of everything she did, even calling it a "win".
- When Archer makes a comment on her wider thighs, she decides an appropriate response is to kick him in his unprotected balls after he'd been brutally beaten, no less.
- She's at her worst in Season 11: during Archer's three-year coma, she only visited him a handful of times at most. Then, when he wakes up, she spends several months avoiding him because she doesn't want to admit to him that she got married during his coma. It's also rather clear that her relationship with Robert was primarily for his status and money instead of genuine love.
- She ships AJ off to a boarding school so she could focus on her career without having to worry about taking care of AJ, even though this is exactly what led to Archer becoming the unlikeable person he is now.
- During one of her visits to see Archer, she literally calls him a "sperm-delivering device" in front of their daughter.
- She doesn't raise AJ into believing Archer is her actual father, completely breaking Archer's heart when she runs to hug Robert instead.
- She barely gives Archer any emotional support when he's trying to recover from his coma.
- During one of their missions, she's ready to double-cross Barry and get him killed along with the other Barry cyborgs just because of Barry's past and because it's convenient, even though Barry changed and became their ally.
- In the past, Lana took all the grants from the environmental department of one of her previous jobs. Then, she left, leaving the department blacklisted from grants for the next five years. When Sandra brings this up, she doesn't even remember this at all. Out of pettiness for being insulted, she spends most of the mission being a bitch to Sandra, something Archer rightfully calls her out on.
- After Archer literally saves the entire world, she calls him an idiot, saying all of their lives were better off without him and actually telling Archer she'd have the entire Earth wiped out if he went along with it.
- Lana's generally the more rational and sane member of ISIS.
- She does show genuine compassion for her friends, giving comfort to them on several occasions.
- She has a really good design.
- Even if she might take it too far, some of the times she does punish Archer are justifiable, since he can be a total ass.
- Besides Archer, she's actually a really effective spy.
- The show would not be the same without her.
- She was more likable in the earlier seasons.