John Geiger

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John Geiger
John Geiger.jpg
[acting drunk] "I saw all the lights, thought this was the casino..."
Gender: Male
Type: "Intimidating" Villain
Age: Unknown
Species: Human
Media of origin: 'Speed (film series)


John Geiger is the antagonist of the 1997 film Speed 2: Cruise Control. He was portrayed by actor Willem Dafoe.

Why He Sucks

  1. He does not, at all, come across as intimidating.
  2. He uses leeches to suck copper out of his body, which is a very hare-brained idea.
  3. He uses fake bombs and not real ones to blow the ship up, showing how inefficient he really is.
  4. He only kills the captain of the ship and no one else on board. Making his devious acts rather moronic and useless.
  5. His motive for hijacking the ship is very nonsensical because he got kicked out of his job for the ocean-liner company and after he got fired, he got sick from getting copper into his body and uses leeches to suck the copper out, which is nonsensical and unorthodox.
    • He also wants to get back at the ocean-liner company to steal the diamonds in the ship's vault.
  6. He almost acts like Wile E. Coyote near the end of the film, especially when he crashes his seaplane into the antenna of an oil tanker before it explodes killing him in a laughable manner.

The Only Redeeming Quality

  1. For all of his inefficiency as a villain, he can be viewed as entertaining (WHS #6 for example).

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