Detroit Red Wings (South Park)

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Detroit Red Wings (South Park)
MORE LIKE Detroit Losers Suckers!!!
Gender: Male
Type: Stereotypical Sports Team
Status: Alive
Media of Origin: South Park

The Detroit Red Wings are an American NHL professional hockey team. They first appeared in the hated and most unpopular South Park Season Ten episode, Stanley's Cup.

Why They Suck

  1. They are one of the most mean-spirited characters in South Park.
  2. None of the Red Wings players care at all about Nelson's cancer and the pee-wee team getting destroyed in bloodshed.
  3. The injuries the pee-wee players get during the match are too sickening and ultra-realistic, even by South Park standards. This includes scenes where a puck hits one boy bloodying his face and Ike getting repeatedly punched by a Red Wings player.
  4. In a final match, the pee-wee team gets assaulted, tortured, beaten up, and bullied by the Detroit Red Wings. They not only get away with attacking children but also for some reason win a cup without any sportsmanship.
  5. For their lack of sportsmanship, they are a terrible overdramatization of arrogant and mighty sports teams. In a real NHL game (or ANY professional sports team nonetheless), an adult league would not be allowed to face off against a peewee kids' league!
  6. The portrayal of the team is a prime example of a Karma Houdini.

Redeeming Qualities

  1. Thankfully, they never appeared again afther Stanley's Cup.
  2. They are better in real life, and aren't even malicious at all.


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