"FAIRY GODPARENTS!'" — Denzel Crocker
This is a good article.
"🎵Yo, I'ma let you finish but, ding dong! (Who’s that?) Yo, it's Crash at the door. Don't wait for you to open kick it down Hardcore! I’m purple with a 'tude, Where your mom hide the food? (In the fridge), I'ma eat it, Then we tear it up, dude. (No makeup or feelings, Tea parties or dolls), Now it's ninjas and football, and face slams! (Good call)🎵"— Crash & Bernstein intro
Crash Bernstein, referred to as Crash, is the titular anti-heroic protagonist of Crash & Bernstein. He is a whatnot and living puppet with many interesting abilities such as eating sandwiches the size of basketballs and eating a watermelon with a straw, and he comes with ninja weapons, such as ninja swords and a small cannon. He is puppetered and voiced by Tim Lagasse.
Crash was created by Wyatt Bernstein and then came to life. He is an extreme, crazy, loud, and daredevil-ish puppet. Crash, apparently becomes Wyatt's adoptive brother. He is not very bright and often harms himself in the process. Crash also bathes in the toilet because he doesn't like going in public pools because of what kids do in there. Crash "face slams" people that he loves, especially Wyatt as it is when Crash slams his head into the other person's head. Crash uses himself as a basketball. Crash can't spell, milkshakes go right through him. His eyes were the inspiration for ping pong balls, as said in a promo. Crash watches a lot of telenovelas and wrestling.
"Face slam!" Qualities
- To write down the first problem about him, he comes across as a complete rip-off of Walter from The Muppets, especially since both are puppets.
- Not only because of looking a bit similar to him, but it comes from how they both have a similar premise of them being naive puppets who interact with the world around them and learning things about their lives in adventurous ways. It doesn't help that Crash's puppet design is made by the same people who worked on The Muppets.
- He often tends to cause so much destruction, harm and mayhem in a clumsy and chaotic manner due to his ridiculously immature antics, which can get overbearing or unfunny at times. Especially when he tends to terrorize Bernstein's family and is constantly causing trouble because of his sheer hyperactivity, being too much of a thrill-seeker and having tons of mischievous tendencies.
- His rivalry towards Cleo, while warranted, is a little petty and unpleasant to watch at times.
- Even though it can be funny to watch most of the time, he's often seen making fun of Pesto in an attempt to have Bernstein all to himself, even when in some cases he acts like a complete jerk to Bernstein like "System Crash" and the beginning of the episode "Duck, Duck, Crash".
- Sometimes he does stupid things to irritate and talk down to Pesto for seemingly no reason other than the fact that the writers clearly wanted it to happen, like the episode "Motorcycle Crash" when he hops onto Pesto's seat and tries distracting him by covering his eyes to tell Pesto that "a good driver trusts his instincts" which makes him lose, and Crash says that Pesto has 'terrible instincts', which is just rude and demeaning.
- He has no character development since he only has one motive for breaking stuff and causing mayhem (as his name implies), and because of being overly faceitous of anything; he hardly gets to have a serious moment with Wyatt despite being a protagonist. Not to mention, the number of crimes he commits, and he doesn't even learn his lesson from his actions most of the time.
- Speaking of which, while he is the protagonist, his stupidity and childishness can make him out to be a bizarre faux antagonist/anti-heroic Daffy Duck type of rival several times, best examples of these are seen in "Crash vs. Flex" and "Like Father, Like Purple".
- The episode "Crash vs. Flex", has Crash made out to be a anti-hero at first who cares very much for Wyatt but has envy over Flex. Despite reconciling with Bernstein and the maker of Flex Fletcher at the end of the episode, he had a villainous scenario with Flex; which was caused by Jasmine playing with the Princess Glitter doll and using Flex Fletcher as her boyfriend in pretend, Crash gets angered with malice and irritation over Flex "stealing" his girl when Jasmine pretends to make Flex kiss the doll, which makes Crash attempt murdering him and failing at it in a comedic fashion.
- Where Crash's stupidity causes these plans to backfire on himself, he attempts at getting homicidal by planning to stab Flex with a sword bigger than his (on purpose), flatten Flex Fletcher with a waffle maker while forgetting his hand was in there, and throwing him off a balcony with a boomerang. All of which makes him seem morally grey despite caring very much for Wyatt.
- Because of this, there are several episodes where he can do some shamelessly rude, insensitive, problematic, and messed up things that serves his evil and jerkish moments of Crash showing a villainous side, these episodes include:
- Crash Lands: He immediately committed his first act by destroying a bunch of the antiques, and in the same episode he tore down a wall in the apartment.
- Scaredy Crash: He constantly makes fun of Bernstein's fear of bugs and even tried to cure him by putting bugs on him, which just made it worse.
- Coach Crash: When he became a coach, not only did he trash-talk the gym's coach to the point he quitted his job, but he also overworked the boys' basketball team, even when they said they were tired he still made them exercise and he didn't have any remorse until they fired him.
- Crash Ask Too Many Questions: He asks Cassie stupid questions, which causes her to get fired since she had a ton of frustrated anger due to this. The writers would have at least had him zipping Crash's mouth or tied him on the chair as a form of punishment.
- Cold Hard Crash:": He gets a cannon to launch himself with cents and money in it, when that backfired on himself, he launched tons of cents and it causes destruction onto vehicles. He even causes a snow avalanche to occur upon making it explode at 12PM. Making Wyatt and his friends run away in fear.
- Comic Book Crash: He teleports to the news station to meet up with the reporter who called him Wyatt's sidekick in real-life, and assaulted him with a kick.
- Like Father, Like Purple: He was stupidly clingy, childish, and egotistical about Wyatt being attached to his foresaken father by being hostile to him, even when Crash should know better than to get competitive and jealous with Wyatt's biological father. When Crash caused the episode's problem, he also vandalizes the school by bursting through a wall by using a mechanical bull to meet up with Wyatt in his class. All for "helping" Wyatt with his school project, he then got the misguided idea to destroy everyone's bridges because of Wyatt's dad, unintentionally, breaking someone's bridge by accident.
- Escape from Bigfoot Island: He left someone stranded on an island for no good reason.
- Flushed In Space: Stranded a frustrated astronaut without a rope, into deep space. Who was annoyed by Crash's stupidity and Crash sends her off flying for the fact she wasn't "good" at the game Crash wanted to play.
- He can be so incredibly moronic and screwy, he says and does some bizarre things that no sane person would do, whether it's done in a funny way or not. His idiocy can be the source of the episode's problem, to begin with.
- In the episode "Crash Jacked", Wyatt tells Cleo how often he is so distracted and scatterbrained with his acts of stupidity, that he gets himself lost or stuck in places more often than not, when Wyatt is simply looking for Crash when he left the hotel.
- Following the previous example, Crash's acts of lunacy seem to imply something more about his dumb personality that is never explained. In the episode "Crashus Maximus", he thought it was a good idea to go outside with a sword to "stab" lightening on an impulse when Bernstein warned him of the consequences. Which Crash being electrocuted led to showing the quirky personas he has as his lineup of alter egos that give him different personalities at random, making it seem like he has a dissociative personality disorder.
- In the episode "Crash Ask Too Many Questions", he asks the stupidest questions to Cassie as mentioned above, even to the point of laughing about Cassie mixing the words "dog" and "poo" together. Also, these questions led to Cassie being fired because of her pure frustration with Crash's idiotic questions (as mentioned before).
- In the episode "Trash & Bernstein", he found a giant magnet he calls a "candy horseshoe", where Bernstein thought to warn Crash and blatantly said how Crash would eat the magnet anyway, Crash says "am not" and does it anyway. This leads to Crash being humorously attacked by any metallic object.
- In the episode "Crash Is Having A Baby", he hires a professional vilionist to teach "violence" lessons, teaching his infant son how to play football in the balcony; the same place Wyatt's mom and Cleo are practicing yoga (trying to throw his football to his own son leading to the ball hitting the Bernstein's property), and got his egg "son" an actual horse to ride on as a pet without asking for Wyatt's moms' permission. All of which not only demonstrate how bad Crash is at his attempts to parent an "infant", but it shows that Crash has a problematic and... questionable way of solving problems.
- In the episode "Action Zero", Crash gets real egotistical about a weakling puppet like him facing against Jake Mahoney (a tough human celebrity), and Crash actually hacked into a recording tape during the set of the show "Action Zero" and Crash makes a tape telling him that he broke into his "lair", left him a "present" that indicates he defecated on his floor, and challenges him to a fight, causing Jake Mahoney to have a meltdown on air and angered enough to fight Crash. This makes Bernstein urging to warn Crash of the dangers against someone stronger than him and proved that Jake actually let Crash win a arm wrestle, Crash resorts to compulsive lies.
- In the episode "Merry Crashenfest", he celebrates Christmas in the bathroom and once turned himself into a beaver persona so he can turn Jasmine's music box into a mess and make it now a gift for Crash to call it a "pony".
- On the topic of Crash's intelligence, despite having moments of genius tactics, showing snarky sarcasm and showing a certain field of knowledge he has about the world to the extent of knowing it automatically, he still acts like a brainless goofball who doesn't know what germs are or what lightning is despite knowing what "orthopedic insoles" even are, making his levels of intelligence and stupidity seem weirdly written and inconsistent.
- In the episode "Crash Is Having A Baby", even though Crash is so recklessly stupid and crazy that he'd confuse viloin lessons with violence lessons, he so just happens to be smart enough to install convenient safety nets to save his egg son from falling onto the floor when Bernstein tries so hard to kill the egg Crash is nurturing.
- In the episode "Party Crasher", despite Crash being smart enough to defeat Pesto at air hockey with good tricks and briefly having a chance to get accepted into the party when he meets Trey, Crash still makes tons of dumb decisions like acting like a brutish and wrathful jerk towards a female waiter when he became a muscleman and seriously thought his "Muscle Shakes" would help him and his friends become muscular by simply drinking a protein shake alone. It doesn't help that in the same episode, he attempted at making his and Wyatt's TVs movable to the hotel's elevator for the two to play video games; a bit of a smart idea but Crash overlooks the fact he made the TVs cable still attached to their room, which caused the TV to go up the gap of the elevator to their floor as soon as the elevator door opens, making the TV fly out of the elevator. Once he even gets to go to Trey's party by chance, Muscular Crash acts antagonistic of Trey's boat and acts reckless of fulling intendly to jump himself onto Trey's toy ship (which could've got him and Bernstein kicked out).
- Speaking of his silly antics, they can be somewhat misleading and dangerous for young viewers to think that it is safe to face slam into each other's foreheads. This was carried to the point where Disney XD had to put countless disclaimers in every episode to remind kids to not do what Crash is capable of since he had a bad Caillou, Jeffy, George Pig and Peppa Pig case of having kids repeating the same things that Crash would do on-screen like his traditional face slam onto other peoples' foreheads for example.
- Much like Wild Woody, he can his moments here and there when he can be annoying because of his loud yelling that can be considered excessive and irritating at times.
- He has the personality traits of the aforementioned Wild Woody, Patrick Star from SpongeBob SquarePants, Wayne Cramp from The Cramp Twins, Gelatin from Battle for Dream Island, Stimpy from The Ren & Stimpy Show, Rodney J. Squirrel from Squirrel Boy, Crumbles from Doodle Toons and Bloo from Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends in a nutshell, except with the mediocre treatment that those aforementioned characters had, hence making him a little clichéd somehow. He's basically a "I'm gonna save the day" type of protagonist who's a wacky goofball and a mischievous jerk, hence the explanation.
- Gross-out behavior: He can do some disgusting things for the sake of gross-out humor, which is often tasteless to watch.
- This includes him belching a lot, spinning around in a toilet while it's flushed in the epsiode "Home Alone...With Crash".
- Enjoying the fact that he is having garbage being poured on him in the episode "Trash and Bernstein" (which is an episode that further shows how passionate Crash is with loving actual garbage or doing anything crude)
- Blowing his nose on Wyatt's poster in "Action Zero".
- Was seen chewing on an old lady's toenails in the episode "Man Crash".
- Making snacks by filling his mouth with swiss cheese and spitting them onto crackers in the episode "Frat Chance".
- Digging through his butt to get a dream-catcher he got for Bernstein in the episode "Undercover Crash" (right after pulling an object out of his ear which he stole from a craft's fair no-less), and the list goes on.
- Not to mention that in the episode "Merry Crashenfest", where Bernstein was gonna say that his family doesn't celebrate Christmas, Crash hastily claims he knows what was said, and then he told him that he swallowed 73 pounds of Christmas lights and puked it onto a Christmas tree as his way to have the tree "ridiculously overdecorated". He even fires an ornament he also swallowed at Bernstein for whatever sadistic and mischievous reason of his.
- It doesn't help that in the episode "Crashington", his irrational fear and anxiety over germs led to locking himself into a transparent globe. And at one point, he starts puking on-screen upon thinking he's not sick. Despite this repulsive moment, everyone treats this as a "awesome" moment...
- While his voice isn't bad at all, it is rather out-of-place and doesn't fit his character as a teenager, especially compared to other characters like Sonic the Hedgehog from Sega's Sonic the Hedgehog or The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. He sounds more like a middle-aged man acting childish rather than a preteen.
- He can be something of a hypocrite many times, mainly because of the lack of continuity and his stupidity being amped up even further.
- In "Crashington", he says that Wyatt's sisters are 'disgusting', when there is an episode called "Trash and Bernstein" that is dedicated to how much Crash loves his trash by having it poured onto him/etc (to the point of making his very own song called "I'm A Junkman").
- In "Coach Crash", he comically roasts the dorky coach by saying “I've seen better plays in a kindergarten theater class!” and “Ah, you couldn't coach the side of a barn!”, even when Crash never went to school as it was established in "Educating Crash" nor knows anything about real coaching.
- In "Action Zero", Crash acts cocky and tells Wyatt that he's "living in a fantasy world" after Wyatt revealed what actually happened when Bernstein was letting Crash win in arm-wrestling, which not only makes him hypocritical since there are countless moments (including this one) where he is in his own world, but it also makes him seem pretty delusional as well.
- There are moments here and there when he can come across as actually masochistic (as the protagonist in a kids show) .
- In "Monster Crash", he expresses how much he enjoys having mud sprayed all over him as if it was a lucky miracle to happen to him, where everyone else (other than Wyatt) were in complete disgust when the Wyatts and the rest forgot to put on their wrap during the durby.
- In "Shorty Crash", at one point he made himself tall enough desperately so he can go to a ride he wanted to go to that was called "The Decapitator", and he claims to enjoy the ride; telling his family this when his head is shown to be desembodied, with the stuffing visibly sticking out of Crash's head in the manner of blood for a decapitated head, on-screen. For the fact he's a puppet saying this, with stuffing coming from his head makes him seem sick in the head.
- He can also come across as an really sadistic jerk about how destructive and chaotic he is, despite being a mischievous anti-hero. He often takes pleasure and revels in seeing others like Pesto suffer just as much he takes pleasure in seeing himself in pain, signifying that he is also a sadomasochist.
- In "Duck, Duck, Crash", as Crash plans out his experiment, he acts jerkish to Bernstein about saying "I'm leaving you nothing" and as Crash wanted to discover if gravity exists, Bernstein suggests dropping a rock, Crash does this and it brutally hits Bernstein's foot, despite Wyatt responding painfully to this; Crash callously ignores this and says that the data was inconclusive since Bernstein's foot "got in the way" and launching himself made him caused property damage to the door of Old Man Shubb's store. Which resulted in Crash and Berstein getting grounded and Karl is left behind to watch over Crash and Wyatt where they must handle the fruit job for Old Man Shubb in exchange that he doesn't press charges. It doesn't help that Crash (unknowingly) vandalized Mel's beloved pet ash jar Pookins, that was witnessed by Jasmine (who was accidentally left behind), making Berstein and Karl resolve this situation themselves.
- In "Home Alone...With Crash", he willingly offers to be the cleaning tool for Wyatt's snowboard, and when Wyatt clumsily swipes Crash off of the board and brutally falls of the balcony as well as hitting the ground. Instead of feeling hurt or upset for being chucked off the balcony, he cheerfully shouts multiple times for Bernstein to do it again as if it's a ride or a rollercoaster. To of which Wyatt's mom pauses him by saying "don't", and when Crash asks her "don't what?", Wyatt's mom then tells him to don't do anything he considers "fun"; he presumably asks Wyatt if it'd be fun to drop water balloons on his mom, Wyatt objects to this and Crash says it's a idea he can do. All of which delves further into Crash's implications of sadomasochism put into his mischievous antics.
- In the last episode of the show, "Double Header", Crash and Bernstein make a show of their own called "The Wyatt & Crash Show". Which starts with Crash rudely silencing a libarian who hasn't said anything (as if she shushes others all the time with malice), when Pesto tries to sing; Crash claims he cannot and after a random cutaway gag of explosions, Crash and Wyatt act calm before they both proudly attend to bash each other with famous paintings of the Mona Lisa and The Starry Night, and the duo then snicker at the name mentioning of their sponsor of their own episode "The Cudiff Art Foundation".
- He has provided plenty of funny moments for everyone to enjoy. Despite all of his flaws listed above, his goofy, wild, unpredictable & whimsical antics of mischief are extremely entertaining and hilarious to watch. This can make Crash out to be the best part of the show because of this.
- In the episode "Merry Crashenfest", the cutaway gag when it was Hanukkah, Crash somehow made a menorah rocket for whatever reason; which comically freaks everyone out. (which could also fit as another example of BQ#8 in any way you look at it)
- While he acts like an annoying imbecile and a complete nutcase most of the time, Crash's goofiest moments and his most awesome moments are enjoyably off-the-wall.
- While he is a Karma Houdini in the Pranksgiving series, his anti-villainous prankster personality in said series is very entertaining as well as well-written. Especially for the way he provides wacky skits by interacting with many Disney XD actors from multiple shows that were popular for the time.
- He may act really dumb, absent-minded, immature, and crazy, but he has moments of showing talent, having some smart moments at times, and has made good use of his lunacy despite being incompetent. Like how his bizarre abilities and his off-the-wall silliness can be useful and sometimes resourceful, depending on the episode.
- In "Trash and Bernstein", he was able to stack cups in a fast way even when in the replay, he somehow learned it slowly to do so despite doing it in a speedy way. (An example that'd also fit in BQ#8)
- In "Crash Jacked", his stupidity and immaturity allows him to have fun with typical situations he himself, can't take seriously, like how he revealed to Bernstein that the Slapper had him held hostage and was basically having fun with pretending to be a dramatic hostage in a rather entertaining way.
- In "Frat Chance", Crash impressively finished a whole meal against Anvil (the most praised for having a iron stomach)
- He also does this as seen in "Crash On The Run", where he and Wyatt's antics allowed them escape from Mr. Green, the sadistic member of the Build A Bestie retrievement, who tried killing Crash with a chipper as a report from Portugal. This happens by Wyatt using his heroic introduction with the words "punching someone in the gut" to motivate Crash to get a silly idea to trick Mr. Green by tickling him and running off.
- He also commits many admirable and heroic deeds that have to be mentioned, these include:
- In "Educating Crash", Crash takes on Rufus aka The Slapper (the meanest kid in Linus Pauling Middle School), which helped make him and Wyatt popular for facing the school's most feared bully.
- In "Undercover Crash", he defeating Doris, a sadistic con artist who fought Crash and Bernstein at the arcade, by getting Bernstein to throw Crash, and make him fly and hit Doris on the back while she was trying to escape. Which got the city's cops to come in and arrest Doris on the spot.
- Plus, Crash also returns the items he stole at the Arcade, like a cotton candy machine, a streetlight, and a plush frog with a camera on it. He also learns how and why it's bad to steal.
- In "Release the Crashen", he helps the Bernsteins find a way to detach themselves away from obnoxious and oppressive neighbors like Gerry and Gretchen. Crash does this by vandalizing their property to make them dislike the Bernsteins as they intended. Also, Crash (humorously) expresses sympathy for how disgusted Gerry's dog must've felt with Gerry kissing the dog's lips.
- In "Cold Hard Crash", despite Crash getting carried away about being rich thanks to Mrs. Lopez leaving Crash her cats and a fortune in cash, he still helps Wyatt win against Scottie for President of the Snowboard Club by having Crash buy the election. He also evacuates Wyatt and his friends to avoid an avalanche that Crash set up to blow at 12 PM despite getting them scared.
- In "Crashington", he helps Wyatt with taking care of Mel and the girls while they are all sick.
- In "Crash Jacked", he helps get back Bernstein's bicycle that was stolen by Rufus. While Rufus kidnapped Crash and held him hostage, Crash uses his antics to make Rufus regret his decision and turn Crash's shenanigans into a form of karmic retribution for Rufus being humiliated because of being a brutish thief, which helped Crash escape from Rufus and getting the bike back for Wyatt to keep.
- In "Crashlemania", Crash helps Wyatt get back into wrestling class with help from Mr. Poulos when Wyatt gets kicked off the team due to Crash's reckless antics.
- In "Comic Book Crash", he and Bernstein (in their heroic roles as The Shredder and Mr. Purple) retrieve Jumper, a basset hound that Jasmine has been dog sitting, from the dog thief by defeating the dog thief, and Crash saves the dog.
- In "The Nosejob Job", he gets his hangout place back by pretending to be a victim of Bernstein tearing off Crash's jelly "nose" to terrify the tyrannical nerdy teenagers who took over Wyatt's and Crash's hangout area, into thinking Bernstein tore off Crash's 'bloody nose' to make them retreat and defeat those teenagers from antagonizing Crash, Wyatt and Pesto.
- In "Crash is Having a Baby", he protected his egg son "Robert Downey Junior", by installing multiple net catchers to prevent the egg from falling splat on the ground when Bernstein constantly tried making it fall onto the ground as Bernstein's mom told him to.
- In "Home Alone... with Crash", he and Wyatt steal Mr. Poulos's keys and get the children to help Jasmine be freed from locking herself in a wall vent.
- In "Trash & Bernstein", he helps Wyatt and Pesto win a cup-stacking competition by using super speed and warping reality to his will.
- In "Double Header", he defeated his pimple head, Tucker Taylor, from threatening Crash to usurp him and taking over "The Wyatt and Crash Show" on Linus Pauling Middle School's TV network.
- Tim Lagasse does a overall great job at voicing him and portraying the character despite sounding way too mature for a teenager. He also did an amazing job at puppeteering him since Crash can be very expressive for a puppet (often comedically), especially his face when he gets really mad and angry for example.
- Despite being weirdly written as a character, he does have many hilarious quotes and great one-liners in many episodes to list, such as:
- “We're all out of Grizzly Flakes! Grizzly Flakes! NOOOO!! Why?! Why?! Why?!”
- “Hey Jake MaPhony!! I'm in your lair! I left you a present, you can't see it but you can smell it!! Oh, I guess you can see it... I'm talking to you 'jerk real pony! I challenge you to a smash down! No gloves! No helmet, just my orthopedic insoles! I have black feet!!!”
- “Oh I got a cramp in my goallooklike! That's what a goal looks like!”
- “Hey Bernstein, would it be fun if we dropped a water balloon on your mom? Oh goodie then we can do it!”
- “Bernstein! Bernstein! I just had the craziest- wait! I'm not falling for that again! Mustache attack!!”
- “I'm a spiral!”
- “I'm science! Weeeee!! OW!!!”
- “I'm the bait!”
- “I said! A shot of wheatgrass! Are you threatening me?? Are you threatening me? If you're feeling froggy just jump girl!”
- “You want a piece of me? Cause I do come apart!”
- “Hey, you want a piece of me pal? I will mess up your world!!”
- “Why aren't pancakes a fruit?”
- “I'm sorry this isn't working for me... I mean who wrote this? What's my motivation?? When's lunch?”
- “Uh Wyatt, I'm pretty sure it is. I got an H in Geography.”
- “You are going down Fisher! I hope you're hungry for some, purple, fist!!!”
- “FINALLY! Hate that guy, you see the way he was looking DOWN on me?”
- “(Dramatic gasp) He did, NOT do that! RIGHT in, FRONT OF ME!! That! Freakishlylittle homewrecker, thinks he can steal MY girl?! Oh... it is, ON.”
- “Uhm... let this be a LESSON to you!”
- “I'm so sorry you have to leave Mr Flex! I hear you have a pressing, engagement!! (slams the wafflemaker onto Flex) GAHAHAHAAHAA!!!! (Sniffs) Oh, I smell burning! I smell even MORE burning.. Oh now I feel pain, even MORE pain, I have say on the pain scale, it's a ten. (Pulls his hand out of the waffle maker) AAAAAHHHHHHH!!! (Sniffs) Oh, waffles! (bites his finger) AAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!”
- “Okay, Fletcher! You took my friend, you stole my girl, and you turned my hand into a, breakfast, tiny treat. IT ENDS NOW!!! This time you'll never come back! (Throws Fletcher attached to a boomerang) So long!!! ... Wait.. what? NOOOOOOOO!!!!!! (Gets hit by boomerang)”
- “Hey Jack Mac Phony!!! I'm in your lair! I left you a present, can't see it, but you can SMELL it!! Oh.. I guess you can see it, eh... I'M TALKING TO YOU, "JERK REAL PONY"! I CHALLENGE YOU TO A SMACK DOWN! NO GLOVES, NO HELMETS! JUST MY ORTHOPEDIC INSOLES!!! I HAVE, BLACK, FEET!!!!”
- “I am NOT a side-kick! This, is a side-kick! And now here's Susie with the weather, hey Bernstein!! I'm on the radio!!!”
- “I told you. I needed the Klingding to boil my water for "Amanda Stew"!”
- “Rickety box.. Check! Slapped on Roller Skate Wheels, Check! Last Will and Testaments... Check! I'm leaving you nothing!”
- “I thought we were having the stupidest dancing contest, you are good.”
- “Uhm... are you guys talking about me? Because.. my name is Crash! And I'M annoying!”
- “HOW are you people more interested in machines, than PLAYING with ME!?”
- “WHY does it have to be so COMPLICATED!?!”
- “I'm Crash, and this is my life!”
- He's not as evil as his "villainous" moments imply. In fact, the episode "Frat Chance" showcases him and Mrs. Lopez hating some man named Raul for being a genuinely evil person and Crash shows genuine kindness towards her. It's the fact that most of his stupidity tends to blind him to his immoral actions and eventually backfires on him a large majority of the time. His immaturity aside, he is usually a very fun-loving guy who wants nothing else than to mess around (for the most part anyway).
- Even though Crash never learns his lesson in most episodes, he usually gets punished as he gets hurt a lot usually after doing something bad, stupid, or for his mere existence. He can occasionally learn from his mistakes and can have some insight out of his sheer moronitude.
- Despite having obnoxious moments that are usually played for laughs, he can be viewed as somewhat likable for being a (mostly) well-meaning friend to Wyatt, in spite of Crash's stupidity and insanity. Especially for how much Crash's antics more often than not, brightens up Wyatt, intentionally or not. Not to mention that he can be an occasionally empathetic character towards others at times (especially with Mrs. Lopez in "Frat Chance").
- Crash hosted a public service announcement in all episodes (including subsequent airings of the first episode) where he says the following words: "I am made of cloth and stuffing. All the wild and crazy awesome things I do on the show cannot hurt me or anyone else. You, however, are not made of cloth and stuffing. So keep it real and leave all the mayhem and face-slamming to me. Rock on."
- He was the mascot of Disney XD, until he was replaced by Future-Worm!.
- Following from a pointer described in BQ#6, him being electrocuted to the point that his alter ego would change on a whim by the sound of lightning, all of his alternative personality traits seem like Crash has some sort of vague hinting of Bipolar disorder and possibly multi-personality disorder, the former would explain where Crash's levels of insanity come from.