How to Make Bad Movies Good

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A Troll in Central Park

• Make the movie be about a troll from a fantasy world trying to survive in modern day New York.
• Improve the characters and make them more likable.
• Don't have the characters talk so much.
• Give the movie a better script, story plot, and storytelling.
• Have Stanley serve a better purpose in the movie.
• Improve the writing.
• Don't have Rosie cry so much.
• Give the magic in the movie a proper explanation.
• Get rid of the pointless thumb wrestling scene.
• Get rid of the scene where Gus cries an ocean when he's cursed by Gnorga.
• Give the movie better songs.
• Don't make the scene where Stanley runs around Central Park too long.
• Give the movie a better moral.
• Improve the dialogue.
• Make Stanley's attraction to Rosie seem less creepy, unnerving, and sickening.
• Remove the part of the end where Stanley's magic covers the entire city.
  • Also remove the parents forcing Gus and Rosie to leave during their reunion with Stanley.

The Nut Job

• Give the movie a better plot.
• Make the characters more likable and less cliched/annoying/obnoxious.
• Make Surly more likeable and less selfish.
• Make Raccoon the villain from the beginning.
• Remove the nut puns and toilet humor.
• Remove "Gangnam Style" from the movie's soundtrack.
• Make the movie less mean-spirited and dark.
• Give the movie a better grasp at the source material to the original short film it was based on.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (The 2014 Michael Bay version)

• The Turtles aren't giants.
• Splinter owns the Turtles instead of April.
• Don't hire Michael Bay.
• Make it a TV Movie.
• April O'Neil is recasted
• Add more comic relief and heartwarming moments like the previous incarnations.

Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul

• Bring back Rachael Harris, Steve Zahn, and Devon Bostick to reprise their roles as Susan, Frank, and Roderick.
• Take out Mac Digby, the faux YouTuber.
• Make Greg Heffley look older.
• Add more characters such as Chirag, Patty Farrell, Fregley, Holly Hills, and Mr. Jefferson.
• Remove product placements and references to games and social media websites.
• Remove the scenes where Susan and Frank sing Wannabe and where Greg almost gets run over by a car.
• Better CGI for the seagulls.
• Remove the pig.
• Better jokes and humor.
• Better acting.
• Remove the "diaper hands" scene.
• Make the climax less confusing and better to follow.
• Have the movie do a better job at adapting the book.
• Don't have the film pander to teenagers who use their phones and other devices a lot.
• Get rid of the overused toilet and gross-out humor.
• Don't reuse the background extras so much.
• Make the logic less confusing.
• Don't flanderize the characters.
• Give the movie better morals.
• Give the movie a better ending.
• Don't have the camera always zoom into Greg's face to make the scenes more dramatic.

Tentacolino

• It takes place in 1992.
• Make it a film where scuba divers discover the Titanic while facing extreme dangers.
• Call it The Search of the Titanic.
• Film it in live action.
• Have it be produced by 20th Century Fox.

The Wild (2006)

• Make the plot more original.
• Remove the ethnic stereotypes (like German dung beetles, Indian pigeons, and Canadian geese).
• No crotch gags.
• Make the personalities of the characters better.
• Make the wildebeests' goal less creepy, and don't make them want to be carnivores.
  • Seriously, herbivores cannot adjust their digestive system to become carnivores.
• Take out Ryan's meow and replace it with a child saying "Roar!" (Think The Lion King).
• Benny and Bridget are just friends instead of Benny having a crush on her.
  • Take out Larry the Snake and replace him with a way less annoying, but funnier character like James the Elephant (So that he'd be voiced by Adam Sandler, and also be an elephant version of Alex's friend Marty, and also be one of Samson's best friends next to Benny).
• There is an explanation on how Ryan learned to roar.
• Traditionally animate the movie (think Who Framed Roger Rabbit or Happy Feet).
• Recast it with better voice actors and actresses for example:
  1. Morgan Freeman as Samson
  2. Michael J. Fox as Benny
  3. Nicolas Cage as Kazar
  4. Eric Bana as Nigel
  5. Meryl Streep as Bridget
  6. Adam Sandler as James
  7. Eddie Murphy as Ryan
  8. Keanu Reeves as Blag
• Rename it to "Zoo Animals Go Wild".
  • Or better, make this movie called Zoo Animals Go Wild a Warner Bros. movie instead of Disney itself! So that it would be released on May 9, 2005 instead of April 14, 2006 (So that it would be released 1 month before the release of Madagascar).
• Add creative humor.
• Make all of the characters more likeable.
• Make all of the jokes funnier.
• Make Nigel funnier.
• Remove the scene with the hyrax on the toilet.

Cool Cat Saves the Kids

• It was not a compilation movie.
• There are separate costumes for Cool Cat and his mother.
  • In addition, have Jim Henson's Puppet Workshop and Jim Henson's Creature Shop collaborate and make the Cool Cat and Cool Cat's Mother costumes.
• Cool Cat and his mother's mouths move.
• Make it a kids' matinee film.
• Universal Pictures and SMGToons (a children's movie program at Studio Movie Grill theaters) released it, and it is a SMGToons film at the aforementioned Studio Movie Grill.
• Make Daddy Derek a cat, just like in the original source material.
• Give the police officer a different male actor that isn't a porn star.
• Make the anti-bullying and gun safety plots made separately (they each have their own movie).
• It is renamed "Cool Cat and the Bully" to make it more realistic.
• Remove the Hollywood Parade and writing contest sub-plots.
• Make Cool Cat refer movies cars by their correct names (eg. the Delorean rather than the Back to the Future Car).

Fantastic Four (2015)

• Make it as a Marvel Cinematic Universe film.
• Make the Thing wear pants.
• Make the character designs for Doctor Doom and the Fantastic Four closer to the original comics.
• Have Stan Lee make a cameo in it.
• Make Doctor Doom not have superpowers (like in the comics).
• Change Johnny Storm's skin color to white.

The Emoji Movie

• Jailbreak is less of a Sombra/Wyldstyle rip-off, personality and design wise. Also make her hacking gear green instead of purple.
• Make Gene a likeable protagonist.
• The poop emoji and the poop kid are never present in the film. Seriously, I bet they were only there so they could get a big-named VA in the film.
• The characters are less bland.
• The plot is less cliched and boring.
• It was released in theaters in 2015, when emojis were actually relevant.
• Less shoehorned product placement.
• Get some company OTHER than Sony to make it.
  • Like Universal Pictures/Illumination? Oh, that would make it worse. Maybe Dreamworks Animation or Warner Animation Group.
• Don't make the human kids so addicted to their phones.
• Textopolis is renamed Textopia (insp. from the Awful Movies Wiki)
• Replace Crackle (Sony’s own free Netflix-like service) with the actual Netflix.
• Remove the Just Dance scene (as it was offensive to many true Just Dance players).

Alpha and Omega

• The wolves look more realistic, like this.
• It’s not very similar to other movies, such as Balto and Bolt.
• Rename the male pups to Smokey and Rusty but keep Claudette's name.
• Way better humor.
• Rabbit Poo Mountain is renamed Rabbit Mountain.
• Better animation.

The Smurfs Live-Action Movies (2011-2013)

General

• Get rid of New York City and Neil Patrick Harris.
  • Set the story in Medieval Europe like in the comics and original cartoon.
• Have the film produced and distributed by Warner Bros. instead of Sony.
• Get rid of the Smurfs made exclusively in these movies.
  • Replace Gutsy with Hefty.
• Add other Smurfs who did not appear such as Baby, the Smurflings, Tracker, Grandpa and Nanny. Even if for non-speaking cameos.

The Smurfs 2

• Remove the Naughties entirely.
• Gargamel is not a famous celebrity.

Chicken Little

• Have the movie feature a better grasp of the original source material (for instance, make Chicken Little a girl instead of a boy like in the book).
• Make the characters less mean-spirited towards Chicken Little and his friends.
• Change Mayor Turkey Lurkey, Goosey Loosey and Foxy Loxy's personalities.
• Remove Buck Cluck, Fish Out of Water and Morkubine.
• Replace the pop songs with original songs.
• Improve the CGI and character designs so that they are not outdated.

Pixels

• Hire Chris Evans to play Sam Brenner instead of Adam Sandler.
• No product placement.
• Remove the scene where Q-Bert pees after he sees Donkey Kong.
• Make Sam, Eddie, and Ludlow as likeable as their teen versions.
• Make Lady Lisa a pixelated character, since she is a video game character.
• The crane was pixelated when it grabs Frogger.
• Remove the Q-Bert children.
• Make the Pac-Man poster set in New York City instead of San Francisco and have reduce Pac-Man's size to how big he was in the film rather than being gigantic and eating the latter in one bite.
• Make the video game characters expies to save budget.
• Give it all least, credit to the original creator of the short (or make him the director of the film).

The Lorax

• Make the songs better.
• Make it less political.
• Don't let us see the Once-ler at the end because it ruins the plot.
• Release it in 2006.
• It's produced by Imagine (with collaboration of Ambiln) and distributed by Universal Pictures.
• Instead of a light-hearted comedy film, have the movie be a dark and interesting tale with a good message like the original book and Fritz Freleng special.
• Get rid of the pointless subplot involving Ted's attempts to impress Audrey.
• Get rid of Aloysius O'Hare, who is a pointless villain.
• Give the movie a better message.
• Give Ted and Audrey a song to sing since they're voiced by Zac Efron and Taylor Swift.
• Don't make the forest animals obnoxious Minion-like comic reliefs.
• Make the characters less bland and cliched.
• Make the Once-ler a mysterious and foreboding man instead of a loud, obnoxious pretty boy.
• Don't make the Lorax a pointless comic relief.
• Get rid of the unnecessary pop culture references.
• Don't make it seem like every plant will die out just because one species nearly did. Honestly, that's not how nature works.

Open Season: Scared Silly

• Make it a half-hour halloween special.
• Giving the special a better name.
• Remove Elliot's flanderization and retain his original personality.
• Give the Wailing Wampus Werewolf a better name and make him scarier.
• Get rid of the toilet humor and twerking scenes.

Ice Age: Continental Drift

• Remove the cover of "The Candy Man".
• Remove the adult humor.
• Make "We Are" less like a 2010s pop song.
• Change Sid's family's personalities.
• Remove the pop songs.
• Shira and Flynn aren't vegetarians.
• Remove the Brat Pack, except Ethan.

Ice Age: Collision Course

• Know how to define what type of film it is and what it wants to tell.
• Get rid of flanderization in general.
• Give Diego and Shira a purpose.
• Get rid of unnecessary subplots.
• Give a proper introduction to new characters like Julian, Francine, and the Dino-Birds.
• Make the Dino-Birds anti-heroes instead of villains.
• Get rid of Crash and Eddie's cringeworthy jokes, twerking jokes, gross scenes, and social media jokes in favor of more creative jokes.
• Make Julian, The Dino-Birds, and Shangri Llama less annoying.
• Balance the screentime of the characters.
• Make Scrat and Buck funnier and less forced to make laugh.

The Ice Age Adventures of Buck Wild

• Give the protagonist role to Buck and make Crash and Eddie deuteragonists along with Zee.
• Turn the film into an animated series centered on Buck.
• Remove Crash and Eddie's cringeworthy jokes.
• Improve the animation quality.
• Make Orson a more threatening villain.
• Improve voice acting for Sid.
• Make Sid less mean-spirited.
• Improve the dialogue writing.
• Add Rudy, Momma Dino's children and Scrat.

Fun Size

• Remove all of the adult humor and sexual content.
• Improve the humor.
• Improve the acting and character dialogue.
• Make Wren, April and Peng less mean-spirited.
• Give the movie an original tagline.
• Release it in mid-late September or early October, around the time Halloween is actually relevant.
• Get rid of the scene where Wren pulls off the mask of an African-American boy dressed as Spider-Man and he calls her the b-word.
• Better soundtrack.
• No product placement.
• Give the movie a title that actually has something to do with its premise.
• Get rid of the destructive scenes.
• Improve Albert and April's character designs to make them less uncanny and more visually appealing.

Megamind vs. the Doom Syndicate

• Get rid of the main characters' flanderization and keep their original personalities.
• Remove the Go Fish Gang.
• Have Megamind use the Dehydration Gun on all four of the Doom Syndicate Members at once.

The Chipmunk Adventure

• Make the "Boys and Girls of Rock and Roll" song less political.
• Add more scenes in the first half of the film.
• Swap the Chipmunks and Chipettes' routes in the second half of the film.
• Change Fiji and the Natives to Australia and a bunch of crocodile hunters.
• Add a scene where the Chipettes' balloon is destroyed by a crocodile.
• Have Brittany admit her mistakes in the sacrifice scene.
• Have the twist wherein Jamal was an Interpol agent less predictable.

Ryan's World the MovieːTitan Universe Adventure

̈TBA.

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