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    How Not to Make a Page: Summer Smith

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    Summer Smith
    Gender: Female
    Age: 18
    Species: Human
    Media of origin: Rick E. Morty

    Summer Smith is a character from the American animated science fiction series Rick E. Morty. She is the sister of Morty Smith, the daughter of Bethany "Beth" Smith (née Sanchez), and the granddaughter of Richard "Rick" Sanchez.

    Why She Is a Useless Character

    1. Firstly, she was born in an abandoned warehouse in Kent, Washington while Beth was high on crack and Jerry was humping a mannequin.
    2. Summer contracted E. coli while Rick was making a sculpture out of his own feces. Despite the odds, Summer recovered within two days.
    3. At age four, she accidentally drank a potion that caused her lips to recede into her skin. To this day her lips are still missing.
    4. In elementary school, she was a sore-ass loser to the point she was bullied by the principal, who had a drinking problem.
    5. At age 13, Summer was slapped on the ass by a giant rat that Rick accidentally created while trying to use science to kill it.
    6. At age 15, Summer was called a "dirty-ass slut" by Tricia Lange, whom ironically would later go on to be friends with her.
      1. Later that year, Summer was rushed to hospital after drinking Coca-Cola mixed with expired orange juice, in an unsuccessful suicide attempt.
    7. In 2017, Summer grew into a giantess, turned inside-out, and was later roasted on a large spit by hungry Orc savages. Except that the last bit was actually false.
    8. On January 15, 2018, Summer tried to become a man by taking 50 testosterone pills in one go. Unsurprisingly, she grew an 8-inch cock and balls, increased muscle mass, a deepened voice, a flat chest (technically bulging pecs), a moustache, beard and chest hair, and became frequently aggressive. She only reverted back to her female form after Rick gave her 100 super-estrogen pills hours later. Is that the reason I'm becoming gay?
    9. After her infamous genderbending experience, Summer began to urinate in her bed three times a week, leaving her incontinent. As such, Summer was forced to wear diapers for six weeks, after which she regained control of her bladder, and wore panties again.
    10. She is sometimes a Karen, calling out Morty when she sees him looking at nude pictures of Jessica on his phone. Hypocritically, she claims she hates bodybuilders, despite once being one several months prior.
    11. In March 2020, during the COVID-19 pandemic, Summer refused to isolate, but quickly backed down.
    12. On May 27 that year, she was arrested in downtown Seattle for jamming HOT 103.7's transmitter and playing the explicit version of N.W.A.'s "Fuck Tha Police" on loop for twenty minutes. Shortly thereafter, Summer was acquitted due to "media resentment toward police officers."
    13. On June 2, Summer was again arrested, this time in Tacoma for dousing a Pierce County sheriff in gasoline before burning him alive with a flamethrower. Like beforehand, she was cleared of all charges due to sky-high anti-cop rhetoric.
    14. On March 8, 2021, she tested positive to COVID-19 and isolated for two weeks, during which she experienced a hallucination which saw her see her brother and grandpa turn into Cronenberg monsters, before being devoured by them. Afterwards, she had occasional nightmares that lasted for a mere 18 days.

    Redeeming Qualities

    None. What the fuck did you expect?


    1. On most occasions, she is voiced by Spencer Grammer, Frasier Crane's daughter. But when she became a super-muscular hairy-ass man, she was voiced by Mark Ruffalo.
    2. Summer once worked as a prostitute in Downtown Seattle for a week in May 2018. But when she caught herpes that same month, she took one of Rick's miracle STD pills, curing her of said disease.
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