Alan (Sleepaway Camp)

Alan is the main character of the 2008 poorly-received horror film, Return to Sleepaway Camp, and is portrayed by Michael Gibney.

Why He Sucks

 * 1) He is completely unlikable and is downright childish. Just like  these two.
 * 2) The shirt he wears throughout the movie is filthy, stained and absolutely disgusting looking.
 * 3) He’s very hypocritical, he doesn’t want to be bullied but has shown to consistently bully other people.
 * 4) He doesn’t even obey the rules of the camp counselors and instead picks fights with them and insults them as well.
 * 5) He has the personality and behavior of a 5-year-old spoiled brat.
 * 6) His catchphrase “Your ass stinks!” is idiotic and absolutely ridiculous.
 * 7) He’ll throw a fit like a toddler if something doesn’t go his way or he’s being bullied by someone.
 * 8) The actor that plays him, Michael Gibney, gives a straight-up awful performance.
 * 9) He is by far one of the most unlikable and beastly protagonists in movie history.
 * 10) In fact, he’s so unlikable that it’s extremely difficult to root for and side with him in the film.
 * 11) In one scene, he threatens his bunk mates with a lighter and hairspray.
 * 12) His tone of voice is whiny, infantile and can get on your nerves VERY quickly.