Cool Cat (Cool Cat Saves the Kids)

"Exquisite!!!"

- Cool Cat

Cool Cat is the titular protagonist of a book series and some short films both created by Derek Savage. He is known to star in the infamous 2015 children's movie "Cool Cat Saves the Kids" portrayed by Jason Johnson.

Why He's Not Cool unlike Barney

 * 1) Despite his supposed role of teaching kids how to deal with bullies, he lacks the proper characterization needed to fulfill such a role.
 * 2) *On that topic, while he is supposed to be an educational children's mascot that gives out good messages, he often sends out bad messages rather than the intended ones. As a result, a lot of them come off as mean-spirited.
 * 3) * When his friend Maria gets cyberbullied by Butch, he convinces her to open the second text she got from the same person, which is the wrong message to kids.
 * 4) *Flash over to 2021, where nothing has improved with him failing in teaching kids about proper lessons about the dangers of the world. Does he think that he would fight COVID-19 by telling them about the importance of getting safety etiquette or distributing vaccines? Nope! He (literally) punches the giant, floating coronavirus molecules with his bare paws like he's playing whack-a-mole. This is a topic that should be taken seriously.
 * 5) **And aside from telling the kids what they should do to prevent the infections from being spread, he does not think to remind the kids about social distancing, and he doesn't tell the kids about wearing masks properly when one of Cool Cat's friends (either Angela or Brittney) pulls her mask down to participate in Cool Cat's rap number as Cool Cat does not say anything about this despite previously correcting this same girl for not wearing the mask over her mouth and nose in the same scene.
 * 6) ***Likewise, after Cool Cat effortlessly defeats the coronavirus in a single punch, the girls engage in a group hug with him. Again, Cool Cat says nothing about this despite telling the girls how they need to practice social distancing to stop the spread.
 * 7) **Because of the bad messages Cool Cat conveys above, as well as the fact that he could easily defeat the coronavirus without any effort, he makes the coronavirus comes off as a complete joke that cannot be taken seriously as a huge threat, which is clearly false since the actual coronavirus is a serious and deadly threat in real life, which is not only a bad lesson to kids, yet it is offensive, insulting and insensitive towards the victims of the COVID-19 disease and anyone who hates the coronavirus due to how it negatively impacts them and their lives as well.
 * 8) ***Likewise, consequently this (unintentionally) results Dirty Dog, the main antagonist of Cool Cat Fights Coronavirus, to come off as a pathetic and rubbish villain that can be defeated by lame things like punching which make him incredibly hard to be taken seriously or seen as a legitimate threat, as well as Angela and Brittney, the two girls he befriends with, to come off as whiny brats.
 * 9) Despite the film saying that Cool Cat "Saves the Kids", he barely even does that, as he either thinks he is sharing good messages or acts like some wimpy, sissy crybaby who doesn't take the right time to actually help teach kids good morals, enforcing the lack of proper characterization and poor writing as well.
 * 10) His lines are both stupid and laughable, most notably his line "Look at me! I'm surfing the web!" and even singing about it when he checks out the e-mails on his laptop in Cool Cat Saves the Kids.
 * 11) He is also incredibly stupid as well. Worse still, his stupidity isn't funny, cute or endearing in the slightest, but rather irritating and frustrating.
 * 12) While his design in particular isn't too bad, his costume looks disturbing when viewed from some angles. Especially since his smile is very unsettling.
 * 13) *His mouth hardly ever moves when he talks due to how bad the suit is.
 * 14) *The scene with him having eyebrows when angry makes him look ridiculous, and some people can find it just as unsettling as his smile.
 * 15) *Due to his costume, he barely shows any emotion and always has the same dumb look on his face.
 * 16) *For no explained reason whatsoever, the design of the long tail of his costume appears to be inconsistent throughout his appearances, for example in some shots his long tail is pointing upwards normally like it should, while in some shots (such as when he is exercising in Cool Cat Saves the Kids) his long tail is pointing downwards which unintentionally giving the false impression that he has a long orange doody coming out of his rear which is incredibly gross to look at especially when he does squatting exercises.
 * 17) His character design and adult voice make him seem unconvincing as a kid and more like an adult cat. He is apparently in elementary school as evidenced by the fact that part of the movie's plot has him running for class president, but he also drives a car, so it's hard to buy into his apparent age. Especially when his catchphrase "I love all kids" would make it obvious that he isn't a kid since no kid would say that.
 * 18) *For this reason above, he unintentionally comes off more like an intellectually-challenged adult cat who is held back in elementary school for so many years as the result of his failure to pass his elementary school grades rather than an elementary school-aged kid as intended.
 * 19) *He is supposed to be a kid despite the fact that he drove a car during one scene in the movie which is something that kids aren’t supposed to do.
 * 20) His voice is so loud and ear-grating that it gives Bonkers a run for his money, even when he's talking politely to someone.
 * 21) *Flash over to his voice in 2021 (who is now voiced by Derek Savage himself), he sounds notably worse as he sounds more high-pitched, whinier and much stupider than before.
 * 22) He contributes way too much filler throughout his appearances, so much to the point that it bores, annoys and frustrates the heck out of the audience that is watching his films, for example in Cool Cat Saves the Kids the entire scene where Cool Cat goes to the Hollywood parade has absolutely nothing to do with the film's anti-bullying theme whatsoever, nor does it have any purpose whatsoever in the film since none of the sequences of Cool Cat at the Hollywood parade are ever brought up later in the film, hence making that entire scene where Cool Cat goes to the Hollywood parade completely pointless.
 * 23) Hypocrisy: Despite teaching his friends to look both ways while crossing the street, he runs across the street like a lunatic without looking ways to take back all the stolen books and candy from Butch.
 * 24) *Despite trying to teach kids how to stop the spread of COVID, he says that it's okay to not wear a mask, due to him being used as a mouthpiece for Derek Savage's anti-masker views.
 * 25) *Also, despite telling the girls Angela and Brittney to wear a face mask, Cool Cat himself spends the entire movie not wearing one himself (except for the merchandise plug), most likely because the filmmakers didn't have a mask to fit over the Cool Cat head at the time.
 * 26) *Despite Cool Cat claiming that he loves all kids, he himself hates Butch the Bully, who is a kid, for being a bully.
 * 27) ** Similarly, despite him claiming that he likes dogs in Cool Cat Saves the Kids, in Cool Cat Fights Coronavirus he hates Dirty Dog, who is also a dog, for being a mean bully infecting the kids with Coronavirus.
 * 28) *Despite the anti-bullying message he preached in Cool Cat Saves the Kids, in Cool Cat Fights Coronavirus he himself taunts and teases his arch-nemesis, Dirty Dog, for his failure to infect him and the girls with the Coronavirus, which is something that bullies would do, hence heavily contradicting the anti-bullying message he preached in the previous film. Not only that, thanks to his bad influence, the girls he befriends with make fun of the way Dirty Dog throws the Coronavirus at them by claiming that "he throws like a sissy girl", which makes the girls come off as hypocritically sexist.
 * 29) **Similarly, despite having learned that "punching away his problems doesn't solve his bullying problems" in Cool Cat Saves the Kids, in Cool Cat Fights Coronavirus he literally punches away the Coronavirus launched out by Dirty Dog, hence heavily contradicting the moral of "punching away his problems not solving anything" he learnt in the previous film.
 * 30) He is supposed to be the hero, there are times where he acts like a bully.
 * 31) * In Cool Cat Saves the Kids, rather than trying to take Butch under his wing to see if he can help him with any problems he might have, he constantly puts him down by telling him that he has no friends.
 * 32) **Rather than trying to help Butch change his ways, he and his friends mock him.
 * 33) **He and Maria do not show any sympathy or concern for Butch when the wind blows paint from a spray can into his eyes, and instead says that he deserves it, which is extremely mean-spirited of them.
 * 34) *In both Cool Cat Saves the Kids and Cool Cat Fights Coronavirus, he is shown to be rather sadistic as well, as he outright takes pleasure in mocking his arch-enemies Butch and Dirty Dog, all by making fun of their respective misfortunes.
 * 35) He's extremely immature as he cries very childishly when Butch the Bully destroys his sandcastle.
 * 36) *Because of his sheer immaturity along with his acts of unadulterated cluelessness, he always behaves like such a nitwit, it makes him out to be this complete imbecile all the way through.
 * 37) * He also keeps pointing out the obvious like naming different cars from different films before the parade sequence.
 * He, along with Daddy Derek, made a horrible song called "Cool Cat likes to Boogie Woogie".
 * 1) *On that topic, all of his songs and rap numbers are incredibly awful, idiotic, poorly-written, cheesy, laughable, cringeworthy, and serve no purpose in his films other than trying too hard to be "hip" and "cool" with the kids but failing miserably at doing so.
 * 2) *Also on that topic, he is shown to be a terrible dancer as well, as his dance moves (or "boogie woogies", as what Cool Cat refers them to) are incredibly awkward, cringeworthy and laughable to look at.
 * 3) *He wrote an awful story about Trolly the Trout and he keeps writing that Trolly keeps making friends over and over again, and to add salt to that wound, he won $100 for writing that stupid story.
 * 4) He's pretty much a bad rip-off of Barney the Dinosaur, but with none of the charm and likability Barney had. In fact, Ben Daka, the production manager of the movie, claims that "Cool Cat is Cooler than Barney the Dinosaur!", which is clearly false since Barney has a more proper characterization and he teaches better life lessons to kids. On the other hand, Cool Cat does not have a proper characterization, does not properly teach kids how to deal with bullies, and is also a hypocrite.
 * 5) He keeps on yelling "I'm Cool Cat and I love all the kids" to the point that it's impossible for him to shut him up.
 * 6) Because of all these qualities, he will definitely be counted as a huge Gary Stu and a really bad one. These reasons include:
 * 7) *He is very egotistical, as he plasters images of himself all over his house. Everyone loves and worships him except Butch. He always wins everything. He always gets the best out of anything and he always gets to be the hero.
 * 8) *For some reason, everyone in the film except the antagonists Butch and Dirty Dog treats him like he’s a celebrity when he shouldn’t be, especially since he did nothing that made him famous nor did have a reason to be treated like a celebrity.
 * 9) During some parts of the movie Cool Cat Saves the Kids, he does masturbation signals, IN A KIDS MOVIE!. This is very noticeable at times where Cool Cat violently shakes either his hand, his leg, or both for no apparent reason as if he is doing inappropriate gestures; Johnson said he wanted to add "cat-like mannerisms" to the character. Maria can also be seen pretending she did not notice during the first time he does this. In fact, he did these aforementioned "jerking off" signals for a total of about three times in said film.
 * 10) *Not to mention that he exercises really awkwardly, especially his morning routine that contains squats.
 * 11) He is supposed to be caring and endearing for children, but he comes across as creepy.
 * 12) Misleading name for two reasons:
 * 13) *Despite being named Cool Cat, he barely does stuff that is cool and always does something lame.
 * 14) *Despite being named Cool Cat, he doesn't even look cool as well, as he's only dressed in a simple T-shirt and shorts instead of cool-looking casual clothing and shades, with the only thing "cool-looking" about his appearance is his name "Cool Cat" written on the front of his shirt.
 * 15) He is so annoying that he even puts Bubsy to shame. Not to mention Cool Cat kind of looks like him since they are both orange, bipedal felines with clothing.
 * 16) His name is incredibly generic and unoriginal, which is also a rip-off of both the character of the same name from Pee-wee's Playhouse and an obscure Looney Tunes character from that late-1960s short with the same name, the latter of whom is also an orange feline, much to the point that it's surprising that Warner Bros. hasn't sued him and his creator Derek Savage yet for shameless copyright infringement.
 * 17) *However, a post made on the character's Twitter account reveals that his creator Derek used to collect Looney Tunes cups during his childhood, including a Cool Cat cup, showing that Derek himself is completely aware of the other Cool Cat, which makes the whole thing even worse.
 * 18) Jason Johnson (and Derek Savage in both Cool Cat's Crazy Dream and Cool Cat Fights Coronavirus) did a terrible job portraying and voicing the character.
 * 19) *On that topic, for no explained reason whatsoever, when Derek Savage takes over the role of the Cool Cat character from Jason Johnson (his original portrayer) in his film's sequel media, his signature catchphrase "Exquisite!" is now gone and has been replaced by a rather generic "Yay!", hence making the character sound a lot lamer than ever before.

The Only Redeeming Quality

 * 1) Because of his extremely poor portrayal in the films, some people may find him to be ironically entertaining.

Trivia

 * Derek Savage has stated that Cool Cat was his imaginary friend when he was a kid.